Too Tired To Write or Too Tired When Not Writing?How Sitting Behind The Desk Made Me Write

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Do not get me wrong, I am very happy with my full-time job and grateful that I have one. But since I started with my day job recently, I barely have time at my disposal to engage with other activities that are stimulating both physically (running) and mentally (writing). Like any other day jobs, mine is consuming most – if not all – of my time and I need to learn how to manage my time more wisely, so that my life will be more well-rounded.

Early this morning, while it was still dark and cold, I was already on my way to work. And as I look at the full moon that was still shining so bright as I bike to work, I promised to myself that I must do some writing as soon as I get back home. Writing is one of the many things that I find fulfilling.  Now that I am back from work, I am so exhausted to do anything at all, including the one that I love the most: writing.

Despite being tired, however, I sat behind my desk (which is by the way, my most favourite space at home) and turned-on my computer. I thought, I do not need to actually write, because, after all, the whole process of writing does not only include the act of writing on the actual piece of text. I will just sit behind my desk and assume the writing position: to pose as if I am writing.

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As I wait for my computer to be on – which is taking a while than usual – some ideas are coming forward to my conscious mind, so I grabbed my fountain pen and turn into an empty page of my notebook. As I start taking notes in long hand, ideas kept coming from all sorts of places for all sorts of purposes.

There are new ideas for the paper I am trying to write, which is based on the research project I have conducted while still in graduate school, there are ideas for the blog I am writing at this very moment, and there are thoughts about the things I should do outside the realm of work, such as: resume running or resume writing.

And then, without even being aware of it – at least not initially – I do not exhausted anymore. I feel more relaxed and energized. Now that I am already warmed-up, why stop writing? It would be a shame to stop. In my experience, and this is true in many cases, it is easier to maintain the momentum rather than building it. Now that I have been energized by writing, I might as well start writing the paper I promised myself to write. Who knows, if I really try to stretch it to the fullest, I might really get published.

I am starting to think that I am tired because I do not write, rather than I do not tired because I am too tired.

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