The main reason why this blog entitled ‘Much To Tell About Nothing’ has been initiated today is that one does not need any reason whatsoever to do so. I just want to blog, make blogging as my hobby, and connect with other bloggers out there. In other words, I am blogging for the sake of blogging itself, no more and no less. There are moments like today that I find it difficult to contain this relentless urge not only to write words (which I could certainly do offline) but also to publish those words online. ‘Publish’, I love that word.
In this blog, I do not wish to put myself at the centre, to impress readers, to criticize something or someone, to inform or raise awareness. It is not my intention to be smart or to be funny because I am none of those. And even if I do, nobody cares! Let us make it very very clear, the blogger here is not a writer in the first place and does not master a good command of the English language. As readers would eventually notice, my expressions are sometimes different to comprehend, verbs are not properly conjugated, words are strangely organized, and the never ending problems with prepositions, ideas are not coherent, and so on. These are the challenges of speakers or writers in this particular case who are expressing attempting to express themselves in a language other than their mother tongue. Nonetheless, I love writing and I certainly revere the English language.It never ceases to inspire me to write when I have encountered writings and speeches that have been expressed in clarity.
This is not the first time that I have secured a blog site. I am not very sure if this will just be one of those blogs in the past that have been impulsively launched but never landed, have been started on a whim but did not continue. In other words, I have already many blogs in the past that have been commenced as I commence one today, but never finished. But when is blog finished in the first place? It seems that blog has a start but never an end. In so many ways, blogging is always an unfinished undertaking.
When I revisit the blog site I have launched in the past and reviewed the entries I have written in it, I just want to give a smack to my younger self. I was so young and so arrogant. I have put myself at the centre as if I have something important to say. I have claimed that I know something that others do not know, while at the same time, elevating myself as somebody who can educate others. Now that it came to pass when I could read what I have written in the past with certain degree of detachment, I could not help my present-self to feel indignant on how presumptuous my past-self was.
When the time comes that my future-self finds this blog the way my present-self has found the blog of my past-self, I deplore my future-self not to judge what is written too harshly the way I judge my past-self today. I hope that what is written here today and henceforward will not be used against me and that I will be reduced alone into what I may or may not write, into what I may or may have not written. As you would already know, consciousness is a very tricky thing. What we think we know at one moment can be substantially changed at other moments in most unpredictable ways.
Of course, I reserve the possibility that my future-self would not become the way one might expect. After all, on the contrary to the predominantly held view, growth and development do not always take a linear path. Rather it can be unpredictable and it is not always progressively forward. Our lives are not immune to step-backs and backlashes. Who knows, my future-self will be worse than my past-self. I certainly hope not. Anyway, I always cringe when I read anything I have written in the past.
Hang on a minute, did I just promise that this blog is absolutely not about myself? Did I just say that I will not try to be smart? I am not saying that I have said something smart above because being smart is not the same thing as trying to be smart. I am indignant to my past-self for being presumptuous and imposing. But is that exactly what I am doing here and now? Ah, the more things change, the more they stay the same.