In the previous blog entry, I have expressed my commitment to write more about my nicotine addiction and the challenge I embrace to liberate myself from it. So far, I am able to restrain myself from lightning-up and smoking a cigarette for four months now. As far as my self-restraint is concerned, I have been Saintly so far. Although, in the whole grand scheme of things, abstaining from one’s addiction for four months is not that long, it is nonetheless not nothing. Four months of not smoking is an achievement I can be proud of. Smokers and ex-smokers alike would understand that sense of achievement.
Aside from not smoking anymore, another huge change that has taken place in my life this year is my dietary restrictions. For about a month or two, I have started to live on plant-based diet. I do not consume animal meat anymore and any other products that have been produced from the exploitation of non-human animals. Like ‘smoking and not smoking’, my conversion to not eating animals is also a theme I would like to reflect upon here in this blog. From hence forward, my reflections on this fundamentally different ways of living my life will be categorized as the ‘The Vegan Ideal’.
You can take the student out of the classroom, but you cannot take the classroom out of the student. This is particularly true in my own personal case, because even though I have already graduated from the graduate school I have attended, I do still maintain a study habit. Even though I am no longer in the university, I am still under its Clutch. I think I can call myself as a ‘frustrated academic’.
For a couple of days now, I have been spending most of my leisure times sitting behind my desk and going through the journal articles and books, both in print and otherwise, that I have studied while I was in the university. One might say that what I am doing is rearranging all these disorganized texts by putting them into certain places in a particular order, so that I could navigate them more efficiently. While there is a ring of truth to that, that is not all what I actually do.
In our modern society today, focus, like control, seems to be a norm that is overvalued. I think focus is one of the most stressful word because the more I think of it, the more I cannot focus. The more I try to take control, the more I lose control. Although focus and control are two different things, they are nonetheless not always mutually exclusive. To focus, after all, and to be able to hold that focus, requires a tremendous amount of control to oneself. We associate focus with success while the lack of it with failure. In order to be successful in life and to be the best in whatever we do, all we need to do is to focus to our goals in lives. If we are distracted from it, then we are doom to fail. In other words, focus has acquired this unproblematized and uninterrogated positive value. It is an ideal of our modern society to which we must pursue.
When I have begun this Much to Tell About Nothing Blog in the beginning of this year, I was in the middle of writing my research project. This particular research project was conducted and written within the trajectory of a master’s degree in humanities that I have recently finished. Discussing the object of that particular research project in detail or to specify the program in which it has been written is not the intention of this particular blog entry. It is, after all, not my intention, and will never be my intention, to bore the readers with details. Perhaps I will do that in other post in the near future. But for now, they are just details and details are, more often than not, irrelevant.