An empty page is quite intimidating. It is daunting to look at empty, blank, white page whether it be a word document on the screen computer or a piece of actual paper on one’s desk. To paraphrase Fredrich Nietzsche: ‘when you gaze long into an empty page, the empty page will gaze back into you.’ For a couple of days now, I have been staring into a blank empty page and although it is Static, it has a life ad will of it’s own. The empty page can reciprocate the gaze and it does look down at me.
A professional writer I am not and perhaps I will never be. I do not possess the necessary talent, creativity, and discipline to become a published author or to earn a living from the craft of writing. Although writer I am not, writing I love nonetheless. There is nothing more gratifying, at least for me personally, to strike an empty page with words of my own expressing my thoughts however incoherent these thoughts might be.
It is noteworthy to mention that yesterday was the fifth month since I have stopped smoking. When I have decided to smoke my last cigarette on the 4th of August 2017 at exactly 14:00, I have been smoke free. I feel quite liberated.
On the contrary to what most people might say, smokers and non-smokers alike, to stop smoking is not difficult at all. It is a lot more easier and simpler that most of us make it. To stop smoking is easy. All you need to do is to stop and no matter what happen, keep stopping. It has been very easy for me, but I guess I have a lot of practice.
I can still remember the first time I have smoked. When I have first inhaled the smoke, I coughed really hard as if I was Allergic to it. One of the greatest regret I have in my life is that I did not listen to my body that day. I was young and stupid that even though my body is telling me not to smoke, I did it anyway, so that I may look ‘cool’.
Today is my day-off. If truth to be told, I do not enjoy a day when I do not need to go to work. I enjoy going to work and I like that I feel a little bit tired after a good day’s work. It very gratifying and give me the sense of enduring happiness.
The only advantage I can appreciate on not going to work like today is that I can stay late in bed. That, of course, has its own peril. Staying in bed as late as I could – and I can certainly stay in bed as late as I could – makes me lazy, bored, and lethargic. The sense of emptiness that comes with it is just unbearable. That idleness is the greatest enemy of one’s soul is a Viable claim.
Just quite recently, I have developed a daily exercise which I would like to refer to as ‘The Study Game’. I allocate Almost three to four hours of my day for this stimulating mental exercise. The Study Game entails that I sit behind my desk and play pretend. I pretend that I am still studying in the university and with the help of the syllabi I have collected from each course I have taken, I am retracing my steps since day one in the graduate school.
When I read and study the texts required for one particular week in that particular course, I read and study them seriously as if I am, again, Almost preparing for an examination or a class presentation. Basically, what I am doing is retaking the courses I took in grad school for the second time around on my own and on my own time. The graduate school has provided me the theoretical concepts and methodological tools that enables me to study and work independently.
If cheeky means asserting and creating a space in which one could express oneself to others, then this street artist we met in Paris is indeed cheeky in his own right. My friends and I were on our way to the Louvre to see Leonardo da Vinci’s Mona Liza and other works when we were greeted by this man’s performance as we eject ourselves from the underground.
In the previous blog entry, I have expressed my commitment to write more about my nicotine addiction and the challenge I embrace to liberate myself from it. So far, I am able to restrain myself from lightning-up and smoking a cigarette for four months now. As far as my self-restraint is concerned, I have been Saintly so far. Although, in the whole grand scheme of things, abstaining from one’s addiction for four months is not that long, it is nonetheless not nothing. Four months of not smoking is an achievement I can be proud of. Smokers and ex-smokers alike would understand that sense of achievement.
Aside from not smoking anymore, another huge change that has taken place in my life this year is my dietary restrictions. For about a month or two, I have started to live on plant-based diet. I do not consume animal meat anymore and any other products that have been produced from the exploitation of non-human animals. Like ‘smoking and not smoking’, my conversion to not eating animals is also a theme I would like to reflect upon here in this blog. From hence forward, my reflections on this fundamentally different ways of living my life will be categorized as the ‘The Vegan Ideal’.
Winter marks the coming of age of every year and yet at the same time it is also the point in which a new young year is being born again. It is in the nexus of the old and the new.
There are quite plenty of the us who finds winter to be the most dreary season of the year. It is quite understandable. It is when we are constrained with indoor activities because it is very cold to spend our time outside. The sun rarely shine and the lack of its glorious presence has a tremendous influence to the temperaments of many.